Video Transcription:
Today I’m sharing the second letter in ‘Wake Up’. ‘A’ Awareness.
Have you ever felt like you’re on autopilot in your leadership role, or even in your day-to-day life, unsure of which “version” of you is steering the wheel?
Think about the times you’ve been driving your car and you absentmindedly overlooked your blind spot, only to abruptly jerk back into your lane to avoid a collision. This happens to us in our journey of being human and in our leadership journeys. We’re so entrenched in our “identity” while we’re performing our ‘roles’ that we unintentionally drift into ‘cruise control’ mode. Later, we’re surprised when we realize that we aren’t really being ourselves.
How many of YOU feel you can be your authentic self at work? Do you believe Leadership begins with trust? I do…. and there’s plenty of science to back it up (see the list below).
In a Harvard Business Review article explaining the Trust Triangle – Francis Frei and Anne Morriss pointed out that “when we withhold our true selves at work, it puts a cap on trust and on our ability to authentically lead people.”
Image from Begin With Trust by Frances Frei and Anne Morris – June 2022
There are 3 things people need to know when you’re a leader:
- Can I trust you?
- Can you help me?
- When things go wrong, can I count on you to have my back?
Like myself and many leaders I work with, we often unknowingly assume we must play a ‘role’, and before we know it, we’re on ‘auto-pilot’, comfortably slipping into a persona that we believe aligns with our leadership identity and we forget about what really matters to people.
Most of us don’t even realize how much energy we’re expending in maintaining this facade, as it usually gets covered up with our blind spot. It might take a trusted colleague to shine a light on this because we may be oblivious to the fact that we’re presenting a version of ourselves that we genuinely do not want to be.
A few years ago I had a trusted leadership peer approach me to say that she had a conversation with one of our Sales Leaders who shared that she wasn’t sure if she was able to trust me because I was part of the executive leadership team at the time, and I was in a leadership role where I was seen as “protecting the business” and so she assumed I may not have the best interest of the employees at heart. This was hard for me to hear because I truly believed in being impartial, fair, and always having everyone’s best interests at heart.
Upon reflecting on my last interaction with this Sales Leader, it dawned on me how I unintentionally slipped into the ‘business protector’ role. It was a situation where there were high stakes involved for both the leader and the business and the “self” I presented obviously had her wondering if she could trust me.
Self-awareness allows us to self-correct. One of my highest values is connection and I believe in the power of “lessons learned” and “second chances to try again”. In every interaction we have with someone, there is a new opportunity to set the intention of being vigilant in “staying alert and awake”. When I reached out to connect with the Sales Leader again, I was able to be mindful of bringing my authentic “self” to the conversation.
This time, I was able to fully express to her that I had her back, and the business was willing to support her, and she could trust us to do the right thing if things went wrong. We continued to have a better relationship based on trust from that day on!
We can’t outrun our human nature or how our brains are wired, but we can practice awareness every time we catch ourselves drifting into auto-pilot.
Which version of your “self” do you want in the driver’s seat steering the wheel?
Let’s mindfully choose to bring our authentic self to work so people experience the real you, reassuring them that you care about them and their success.
Here are several scientific articles and studies that explore the importance of self-awareness in leadership:
- “Self-awareness, authentic leadership, and follower satisfaction: Testing a mediated model” (Amundsen, S., & Martinsen, Ø. L. (2015). Leadership & Organization Development Journal, 36(3), 226-240.) – This study establishes a link between self-awareness in leaders, authenticity, and employee satisfaction.
- “Self-awareness and the emotional consequences of self-discrepancies” (Silvia, P. J., & O’Brien, M. E. (2004). Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30(5), 703-714.) – This paper delves into the emotional consequences of self-discrepancies and the importance of self-awareness in managing these discrepancies.
- “Emotional intelligence as a moderator of affectivity/personality and emotional labor” (Austin, E. J., Dore, T. C. P., & O’Donovan, K. M. (2008). Personality and Individual Differences, 44(3), 520-530.) – This paper links emotional intelligence, which begins with self-awareness, to job performance and satisfaction.
- “The role of self-awareness and feedback in neo-charismatic leader development” (Hannah, S. T., Woolfolk, R. L., & Lord, R. G. (2009). Journal of Leadership & Organizational Studies, 15(3), 255-272.) – This study connects self-awareness and feedback to the development of effective leadership skills.
- “Leader self-awareness: An examination and implications of women’s under-prediction” (Bass, B., & Yammarino, F. J. (1991). Journal of Organizational Behavior, 12(2), 649-670.) – This study explores gender differences in leader self-awareness and their implications.
- “Exploring the link between emotional intelligence and cross-cultural leadership effectiveness” (Goleman, D., & Boyatzis, R. (2008). Journal of International Business and Cultural Studies, 1.) – This article provides insights into how emotional intelligence, which includes self-awareness, impacts cross-cultural leadership effectiveness.