Chantal McIntyre

Emotional Intelligence – The E in the Wake-Up Framework

Aug 24, 2023 | Wake-Up Framework | 0 comments

By Chantal McIntyre

Video Transcription:

The E in my Wake-Up Framework stands for “Emotional Intelligence.”

The 2 most frequent questions I get from clients are:

1. What is Emotional Intelligence?

There are lots of different definitions out there, but the one I resonate with most is
“The capacity to be aware of, self-regulate, and fully express your emotions while handling interpersonal relationships with intentional care and empathy.”

2. Is Emotional Intelligence something that can be learned?

Yes!

A client in my last Leaders GPS program came to me a touch skeptical about emotional intelligence. She shared her inner doubts with me and said she wasn’t sure that EI was something she could learn and then said, “I’m glad you have a 100% guarantee on your coaching program because I’m afraid you might need to coach me for the rest of my life because I just can’t get this EI soft stuff!”.

Her concern was genuine. She felt that attaining a higher level of emotional intelligence was beyond her reach because it was a so-called immeasurable “soft skill”.

What I shared with her is that the magic lies in the daily practice of very specific and measurable competencies, and I reassured her that if she “Embraced a committed, daily practice to do the experiential skill-building exercises I gave her, she would see her own emotional intelligence transformation unfold.”

Emotional intelligence isn’t an elusive gift only a few are born with. It’s a daily practice, and just like any other skill, with consistency and dedication, it can be a better way to approach emotionally charged people and situations in your life.

Do you remember the first time someone acknowledged you for not just your intellectual ability but for understanding or really getting them and hearing them at a deeper level? It wasn’t your analytical skills or your business acumen. It was something far more impactful and profound: that’s Emotional Intelligence.

Back in the 90’s, I was inspired by Daniel Goleman’s ground-breaking research, where his team examined leaders in about 200 major global corporations. Beyond technical ability, what truly distinguished outstanding leaders was their competency in emotional intelligence.

Daniel Goleman's Framework

So, how do I nurture this elusive EI skill, you ask?

Goleman outlined five pillars:

    1. Self-awareness – Understanding our emotions and their ripple effects. It gives you confidence and a realistic grasp of my strengths and areas of growth.
    2. Self-regulation – Mastering the art of pausing before reacting. It fosters trustworthiness and helps me embrace change.
    3. Motivation – Fueling your drive with a purpose beyond accolades or monetary gains. It’s that undying optimism, even when things don’t go as planned.
    4. Empathy – Truly stepping into another’s shoes. This is my compass in talent retention, tuning into diverse cultures, and serving you and many others.
    5. Social skills – Cultivating meaningful relationships and finding common ground. It’s the magic behind leading change and building formidable teams.

Daniel Goleman’s “Description” of Framework

Daniel Goleman Description of Framework

Beyond the science and textbooks, I’ve found emotional intelligence to be a living truth, especially in the leadership and Entrepreneurial realm. My personal mantra? Emotional intelligence is a practice, just like flexing a muscle is.

Every day, in every interaction, I challenge myself to be a little more emotionally agile and intelligent. I often say my Entrepreneurial journey over the past 3 years has been like getting a PhD in the “unknown”!

It’s the days where I can calmly navigate a stormy client or business situation and really “get” that when people are upset and emotional, they’re usually not responding to ME, personally. I can grant them being and accept them just exactly the way they are and accessing emotional intelligence, I can come from a place of choice and self-awareness vs. avoidance or overreaction. One of my previous colleagues named Paul used to call this his “check myself before I wreck myself” approach!

So, if you ever find yourself wondering about the secret ingredient behind conscious leadership, remember that Emotional intelligence is not just an innate trait—it’s a journey, one that holds immense value for every leader and business owner.

YOU can earn your own PhD. in navigating the “unknown” in every emotionally charged human and business interaction if you can commit to learning to love the messiness of human emotions and relationships by embracing emotional intelligence too! Hey, it just might be your most rewarding adventure yet!

Chantal McIntyre

1/3 of our lives are spent at work, but so many leaders are wasting away and letting their brilliance or genius die inside them. In my previous career as the VP of HR at a technology company, the majority of my time was spent coaching leaders who needed support with all the people problems on their teams. Through this work I realized how people’s deep need for fulfillment was realized through finding meaning and purpose at WORK – and how this specifically drove the bottom line in business.